This Happens To Me Every F**king Year...
Every year, I get through my Fantasy Football draft and then by week 7, I've usually been doing pretty well. For Instance, I'm 5-2 right now, and in a 3-way tie for first, but as always I'm hitting my annual shitstorm of underachieving superstars and injuries. So here is a list of players that I'm just saying FUCK YOU to until further notice...
1. Ladainian Tomlinson. Hey Fuckface, maybe you should stop making those Vizio comercials and having Troy Polamalu run you down in Nike ads, and actually try to get fucking healthy during the offseason. When I got the first pick in my ffb draft this year i was pretty much handcuffed into taking your gimpy ass. Larry Johnson completely fucked me last year in the same situation. So you better rub some dirt on your fucking turf toe and dry those tears pussy, thats why dad left.
2. Willie Parker. Hey Asshole, you've been questionable for the better part of a month? when the fuck are you going to play? I'm tired of having to slot fuckwads like Deangelo Williams and Laveraneus Coles into my lineup while you are sipping hot cocoa with your leg up in a sling. It's either time for you to put Mewelde Moore back on the sideline or just admit that you're mangina hurts to bad to play and let me move on with the rest of my season, fucknugget.
3. Tony Romo. That's right. Tony. Fucking. Romo. It's not often that I throw the QB of my favorite team under the bus, but any time you break your pinky, leave the team under the control of Brad Johnson, and sit on the sidelines while they lose to the lowly fucking Rams, even you aren't safe. If the Cowboys beat the Rams last week I wouldnt have cared. I have a capable back-up on my fantasy team, but the Cowboys don't have one on their roster. Fuck, I'd take Matt Cassel at this point! I mean, shit, did you see him fuck the Broncos in the mouth?! Now, Tony says he might miss the next 3 games. What happened to wanting to play against the Rams?! Does Brett Favre need to call you a pussy again? Or do you want to spend more time hanging out with fake 80's Hair Metal Bands and Hal Sparks? What the fuck!?
1. Ladainian Tomlinson. Hey Fuckface, maybe you should stop making those Vizio comercials and having Troy Polamalu run you down in Nike ads, and actually try to get fucking healthy during the offseason. When I got the first pick in my ffb draft this year i was pretty much handcuffed into taking your gimpy ass. Larry Johnson completely fucked me last year in the same situation. So you better rub some dirt on your fucking turf toe and dry those tears pussy, thats why dad left.
2. Willie Parker. Hey Asshole, you've been questionable for the better part of a month? when the fuck are you going to play? I'm tired of having to slot fuckwads like Deangelo Williams and Laveraneus Coles into my lineup while you are sipping hot cocoa with your leg up in a sling. It's either time for you to put Mewelde Moore back on the sideline or just admit that you're mangina hurts to bad to play and let me move on with the rest of my season, fucknugget.
3. Tony Romo. That's right. Tony. Fucking. Romo. It's not often that I throw the QB of my favorite team under the bus, but any time you break your pinky, leave the team under the control of Brad Johnson, and sit on the sidelines while they lose to the lowly fucking Rams, even you aren't safe. If the Cowboys beat the Rams last week I wouldnt have cared. I have a capable back-up on my fantasy team, but the Cowboys don't have one on their roster. Fuck, I'd take Matt Cassel at this point! I mean, shit, did you see him fuck the Broncos in the mouth?! Now, Tony says he might miss the next 3 games. What happened to wanting to play against the Rams?! Does Brett Favre need to call you a pussy again? Or do you want to spend more time hanging out with fake 80's Hair Metal Bands and Hal Sparks? What the fuck!?
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